I think life should be more like TV. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you?
I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified.
Women should always wear tight clothing, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?
- Calvin
Watched the Big Lebowski (The rug really held the room together). Will watch the Grindhouse tomorrow, might even write about it.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
“Not that there's anything wrong with that."
These are the top 25 qoutes of the last 25 years (USA Today). A random poll would probably have more ad/movie punchlines
25. “Not that there's anything wrong with that."
Jerry Seinfeld, Feb. 11, 1993, in the episode The Outing, later used whenever a gay character was discussed on the show.
23. "Where's the beef?"
Wendy's TV commercial, 1984, later used by Democratic presidential candidate Walter Mondale to ridicule opponent Gary Hart.
24. "I can't deny the fact that you like me! Right now, you like me!"
Sally Field, March 25, 1985
22. "People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?"
Rodney King, May 1, 1992, after the acquittal of Los Angeles police in his beating trial sparked widespread rioting.
21. "You gotta fight for your right to party. "
The Beastie Boys, 1986, in the song Fight For Your Right.
20. "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl."
Russ Grimm, 1984, a Washington Redskin who ended his career as a player with three Super Bowl rings
19. "It takes a village to raise a child."
Hillary Rodham Clinton in her 1996 book, borrowing from an African proverb.
18. “Don't give up. Don't ever give up. "
Former North Carolina State basketball coach Jim Valvano, March 4, 1993, accepting an ESPY Award shortly before he died of cancer.
17. "One more thing."
Apple CEO Steve Jobs, 1999. He uses the phrase before unveiling products such as the iMac and iPod at computer shows.
16. "My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators."
Vice President Cheney, March 16, 2003, on NBC's Meet the Press, describing how Iraqis will react when U.S. troops topple Saddam Hussein.
15. "I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon."
President Bush, Sept. 14, 2001, addressing police, firefighters and rescue workers at Ground Zero.
14. "Keep hope alive."
Civil rights leader Jesse Jackson, July 19, 1988, in a speech at the Democratic National Convention in Atlanta.
13. "Which office do I go to to get my reputation back?"
Former Labor secretary Raymond Donovan, May 25, 1987, after being acquitted of fraud charges.
12. "I want to focus on my salad."
Martha Stewart, June 25, 2002, on CBS' The Early Show, when questioned about the probe into her stock dealings.
11. "Just say no."
Nancy Reagan's anti-drug campaign slogan, 1983.
10. "I knew Jack Kennedy; Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."
Democratic vice presidential candidate Lloyd Bentsen, debating Republican Dan Quayle in Omaha on Oct. 5, 1988.
9. "You can't handle the truth!"
Actor Jack Nicholson as Col. Nathan Jessup in the 1992 film A Few Good Men.
8. "How do we know when irrational exuberance has unduly escalated asset values?"
Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, Dec. 5, 1996, interpreted as a warning that stocks were too high. Markets plunged briefly the next morning.
7. "Obviously a major malfunction."
Steve Nesbitt, NASA public affairs officer, Jan. 28, 1986, shortly after the space shuttle Challenger exploded.
6. "Read my lips: no new taxes."
George H.W. Bush, Aug. 18, 1988, accepting the GOP presidential nomination in New Orleans. A tax hike later in his presidency was a factor in his loss for re-election.
5. "You've got mail!"
America Online, 1989. The voice, which still greets users, is El Edwards, the husband of an AOL customer service representative.
4. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."
President Clinton, Jan. 26, 1998, at a White House news conference.
3. "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."
Defense attorney Johnnie Cochran, Sept. 27, 1995, arguing that a glove used as murder evidence in the O.J. Simpson trial was too small.
2. "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"
President Reagan, June 12, 1987, appealing to the Soviet leader to remove the Berlin Wall that divided East and West German sectors. It fell in 1989.
1. "Let's roll."
Todd Beamer, Sept. 11, 2001, just before he and other passengers attacked terrorists controlling United Flight 93, which crashed in a Pennsylvania field. The White House may have been the target.
Very debatable...show me the money, say hello to my little friend, .... and of course
'The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show'
-Will Ferrel flexing the guns in and as The अन्चोर्मन
ऎंड maybe कुत्ते कमीने में तेरा ख़ून पी जाऊँगा !!
25. “Not that there's anything wrong with that."
Jerry Seinfeld, Feb. 11, 1993, in the episode The Outing, later used whenever a gay character was discussed on the show.
23. "Where's the beef?"
Wendy's TV commercial, 1984, later used by Democratic presidential candidate Walter Mondale to ridicule opponent Gary Hart.
24. "I can't deny the fact that you like me! Right now, you like me!"
Sally Field, March 25, 1985
22. "People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?"
Rodney King, May 1, 1992, after the acquittal of Los Angeles police in his beating trial sparked widespread rioting.
21. "You gotta fight for your right to party. "
The Beastie Boys, 1986, in the song Fight For Your Right.
20. "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl."
Russ Grimm, 1984, a Washington Redskin who ended his career as a player with three Super Bowl rings
19. "It takes a village to raise a child."
Hillary Rodham Clinton in her 1996 book, borrowing from an African proverb.
18. “Don't give up. Don't ever give up. "
Former North Carolina State basketball coach Jim Valvano, March 4, 1993, accepting an ESPY Award shortly before he died of cancer.
17. "One more thing."
Apple CEO Steve Jobs, 1999. He uses the phrase before unveiling products such as the iMac and iPod at computer shows.
16. "My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators."
Vice President Cheney, March 16, 2003, on NBC's Meet the Press, describing how Iraqis will react when U.S. troops topple Saddam Hussein.
15. "I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon."
President Bush, Sept. 14, 2001, addressing police, firefighters and rescue workers at Ground Zero.
14. "Keep hope alive."
Civil rights leader Jesse Jackson, July 19, 1988, in a speech at the Democratic National Convention in Atlanta.
13. "Which office do I go to to get my reputation back?"
Former Labor secretary Raymond Donovan, May 25, 1987, after being acquitted of fraud charges.
12. "I want to focus on my salad."
Martha Stewart, June 25, 2002, on CBS' The Early Show, when questioned about the probe into her stock dealings.
11. "Just say no."
Nancy Reagan's anti-drug campaign slogan, 1983.
10. "I knew Jack Kennedy; Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."
Democratic vice presidential candidate Lloyd Bentsen, debating Republican Dan Quayle in Omaha on Oct. 5, 1988.
9. "You can't handle the truth!"
Actor Jack Nicholson as Col. Nathan Jessup in the 1992 film A Few Good Men.
8. "How do we know when irrational exuberance has unduly escalated asset values?"
Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, Dec. 5, 1996, interpreted as a warning that stocks were too high. Markets plunged briefly the next morning.
7. "Obviously a major malfunction."
Steve Nesbitt, NASA public affairs officer, Jan. 28, 1986, shortly after the space shuttle Challenger exploded.
6. "Read my lips: no new taxes."
George H.W. Bush, Aug. 18, 1988, accepting the GOP presidential nomination in New Orleans. A tax hike later in his presidency was a factor in his loss for re-election.
5. "You've got mail!"
America Online, 1989. The voice, which still greets users, is El Edwards, the husband of an AOL customer service representative.
4. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."
President Clinton, Jan. 26, 1998, at a White House news conference.
3. "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."
Defense attorney Johnnie Cochran, Sept. 27, 1995, arguing that a glove used as murder evidence in the O.J. Simpson trial was too small.
2. "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"
President Reagan, June 12, 1987, appealing to the Soviet leader to remove the Berlin Wall that divided East and West German sectors. It fell in 1989.
1. "Let's roll."
Todd Beamer, Sept. 11, 2001, just before he and other passengers attacked terrorists controlling United Flight 93, which crashed in a Pennsylvania field. The White House may have been the target.
Very debatable...show me the money, say hello to my little friend, .... and of course
'The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show'
-Will Ferrel flexing the guns in and as The अन्चोर्मन
ऎंड maybe कुत्ते कमीने में तेरा ख़ून पी जाऊँगा !!
Shawarma at 2:22 AM
It's a little know fact about thos his rather zesty Turkish or Lebanese dish got it's name. I am sure you have often thought about this very question late at night so here is the real answer
There was this young turkish/lebanese lad industrious, carpetseller with a strong persian wit. His days were filled with strong cups of coffee, tag team baccarat or backgammon, few rolls of carpets here and there, wrestling with the mules ....wait that was the weekend. So one day as he was rubbing this lamp a genie....wait that's another story. So one day after a long day of the arabica robusta debate and many cups cups of strong turkish coffee, chickpea cakes and a sweet tea biscuit he came home slightly buzzed. His mother could immediately sense from his eyes that this wasn't the same Ali that had left home that morning, something about the involuntary eye twitch and hand movements gace him away. She knew that there were only two things that could cause that crystalline tropane alkaloid or coffee. Since no one does crack and what mother would believe her Ali would, she naturally guessed the caffeine overdose. "Shame !!" she cried. "No dinner for you till you get decent" she bellowed. Ali's heightened senses made him sway from side to side and he did have a case of the munchies (it was never recorded if he did ever have that substance, Miss Lewinsky), nevertheless he staggered into his room and whiffed the air to figure out what was for dinner. His mother, bless her was a bit tired from all the cooking, cleaning and feeding so was actually out most of the day spying on her best friend who she suspected of stealing her recipe for goat cheese casserole. Well she wasn't stealing her recipe, but was stealing her husband so some curse words later all with a distinct "Ahhkkr" sound she came back and picked whatever meats she could to make dinner for obedient and nice Ali. Quivering Ali while getting ready for his bath, smelled a bouqet of meats and spices cooked patiently and well over a revolving skever type things like a giant mount everest inverted, or the mariana trench, or like an ice cream cone. His mother was shouting..."You ready yet, Lazy coffe drinking fool". At this opportune moment the batty hard of hearing neighbors aunt, Agatha came by she knew of the goat cheese casserole and knew that something was cooking, something new, meaty, spicy and then she loved to spy on people. "Hmmm that smells good, nice revolving meaty sandwich type thing...what is it" she asked. Ali's mother already bugged by her day shouted out "That Ali knows..that son of his father, chick pea and sweet biscuit eating .... Ali get in here and eat this". At which point the ignored Agatha askes "so what do u call this delicious thing" ...she was nibbling at it using her spare teeth. At this point Ali who could hear his name and shouting and who was in the middle of his bath shouted out "Can't hear a damn thing, let me come out of the Shower Ma". Agatha heard the last bit and well that's how the legend goes.
(Things were finally resolved, Ali's mother's husgand wasn't actually cheating and Ali was on crack)
It's true...well atleast for 2:22 AM it is
There was this young turkish/lebanese lad industrious, carpetseller with a strong persian wit. His days were filled with strong cups of coffee, tag team baccarat or backgammon, few rolls of carpets here and there, wrestling with the mules ....wait that was the weekend. So one day as he was rubbing this lamp a genie....wait that's another story. So one day after a long day of the arabica robusta debate and many cups cups of strong turkish coffee, chickpea cakes and a sweet tea biscuit he came home slightly buzzed. His mother could immediately sense from his eyes that this wasn't the same Ali that had left home that morning, something about the involuntary eye twitch and hand movements gace him away. She knew that there were only two things that could cause that crystalline tropane alkaloid or coffee. Since no one does crack and what mother would believe her Ali would, she naturally guessed the caffeine overdose. "Shame !!" she cried. "No dinner for you till you get decent" she bellowed. Ali's heightened senses made him sway from side to side and he did have a case of the munchies (it was never recorded if he did ever have that substance, Miss Lewinsky), nevertheless he staggered into his room and whiffed the air to figure out what was for dinner. His mother, bless her was a bit tired from all the cooking, cleaning and feeding so was actually out most of the day spying on her best friend who she suspected of stealing her recipe for goat cheese casserole. Well she wasn't stealing her recipe, but was stealing her husband so some curse words later all with a distinct "Ahhkkr" sound she came back and picked whatever meats she could to make dinner for obedient and nice Ali. Quivering Ali while getting ready for his bath, smelled a bouqet of meats and spices cooked patiently and well over a revolving skever type things like a giant mount everest inverted, or the mariana trench, or like an ice cream cone. His mother was shouting..."You ready yet, Lazy coffe drinking fool". At this opportune moment the batty hard of hearing neighbors aunt, Agatha came by she knew of the goat cheese casserole and knew that something was cooking, something new, meaty, spicy and then she loved to spy on people. "Hmmm that smells good, nice revolving meaty sandwich type thing...what is it" she asked. Ali's mother already bugged by her day shouted out "That Ali knows..that son of his father, chick pea and sweet biscuit eating .... Ali get in here and eat this". At which point the ignored Agatha askes "so what do u call this delicious thing" ...she was nibbling at it using her spare teeth. At this point Ali who could hear his name and shouting and who was in the middle of his bath shouted out "Can't hear a damn thing, let me come out of the Shower Ma". Agatha heard the last bit and well that's how the legend goes.
(Things were finally resolved, Ali's mother's husgand wasn't actually cheating and Ali was on crack)
It's true...well atleast for 2:22 AM it is
The Wisdom Of The Dancing Bear
Such simplicity and yet such power, aah the wisdom the Bear and Bare Necessities
Look for the bare necessities
Wherever I wander, wherever I roam
The bare necessities of life will come to you
Look for the bare necessities
Now when you pick a pawpaw
The bare necessities of life will come to you
So just try and relax, yeah cool it
And don't spend your time lookin' around
- From the Jungle Book
Just watch that bear dance !!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kogfJNrkwAs
and in German too....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3N2w309YWQ
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature's recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life
Wherever I wander, wherever I roam
I couldn't be fonder of my big home
The bees are buzzin' in the tree
To make some honey just for me
When you look under the rocks and plants
And take a glance at the fancy ants
Then maybe try a few
The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life
Now when you pick a pawpaw
Or a prickly pearAnd you prick a raw paw
Next time beware
Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw
When you pick a pear
Try to use the claw
But you don't need to use the claw
When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw
Have I given you a clue ?
The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!
So just try and relax, yeah cool it
Fall apart in my backyard'
Cause let me tell you something little britches
If you act like that bee acts, uh uh
You're working too hard
And don't spend your time lookin' around
For something you want that can't be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin' about it
I'll tell you something true
The bare necessities of life will come to you
- From the Jungle Book
Just watch that bear dance !!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kogfJNrkwAs
and in German too....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3N2w309YWQ
The Legend Of The Dancing Bear
Stories are born out of many things boredom, journeys, wars, extra large soda drinks and non working water closets….Legends, well legends are not born they live inside the very fabric of all of us.
The Dancing Bear is one such legend. The bear is not as psychotic as Donny Darko’s bunny (which is eerie) or as benign as the un-administered gaze on your right hand that is passed on as a daring sports injury (a catch of some atheleticism) but is nothing more than a paper cut from filing expense reports.
You might ask why a dancing bear ? what makes the bear dance ? is it dance or a jig ? Very important questions, their time will come too.
For starters the bear enjoys the works of Floyd, Freddie, John, Paul and the other non papas, is educating himself in hip hop and is a closet fan of .. Beyonce .. Shakira !!…Shakira !! (In case you have missed the new single)
The bear will offer bits on life, the movies, music, philosophy, cooking, questions, travel.. …whatever the mood may be
Because life often starts with the Macadamia Ball and ends with the free pancake breakfast.
The Dancing Bear is one such legend. The bear is not as psychotic as Donny Darko’s bunny (which is eerie) or as benign as the un-administered gaze on your right hand that is passed on as a daring sports injury (a catch of some atheleticism) but is nothing more than a paper cut from filing expense reports.
You might ask why a dancing bear ? what makes the bear dance ? is it dance or a jig ? Very important questions, their time will come too.
For starters the bear enjoys the works of Floyd, Freddie, John, Paul and the other non papas, is educating himself in hip hop and is a closet fan of .. Beyonce .. Shakira !!…Shakira !! (In case you have missed the new single)
The bear will offer bits on life, the movies, music, philosophy, cooking, questions, travel.. …whatever the mood may be
Because life often starts with the Macadamia Ball and ends with the free pancake breakfast.
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